The Highway Hurricanes
— vs The Centurions

Older Canes fans will no doubt recall the bad old days when Don Canning and Norman Longley ruled the roost, and we’d regularly turn up at Blackweir with 8 or 9 players to be trounced by the likes of Wiggins Teape or Alex Gordon Partnership. Indeed I remember one particular low point when we got our butts whupped by Birkett Construction – this despite the fact that not one of the Birkett team had so much as looked at a cricket bat in anger since leaving school. Dark times indeed – but of course all this was before the arrival on the scene of the mighty Griff.

I well remember that happy day when he made his first appearance for the Canes. It’s particularly stuck in my mind because of a number of strange happenings that occurred the very evening before. Firstly, on way way down to the local, my attention was caught by the sight of a strange star shining brightly in the eastern sky. Then, once I arrived at the pub, I was immediately engaged in conversation by three strangers of middle-eastern appearance and regal bearing. During the course of our discussion they assured me that a charismatic new leader would emerge who would transform the Hurricanes into a mighty power that would come to be feared throughout the land, but also warned that being a Bluebirds fan could only lead to a lifetime of disappointment and heartbreak. Throughout all this they kept me supplied with foaming tankards of ale along with a steady supply of crisps and porky scratchings (wise men bearing gifts you might say?). Then later on my drunken attempts to proposition Mary, the buxom serving wench, were firmly rejected when she informed me that she ‘was not that sort of girl’ and ‘was saving herself for marriage’. All very odd, but could these events have some sort of divine meaning? Well, no actually, because after this thumping in the FTL semi final show-down against the Centurions, it seems that Griff may not be the true Messiah after all – just a very naughty boy!

First of all, despite several e-mails advising of the match, he claims to have known nothing about it because it wasn’t on the original fixture list. Then he turns up late, stands in for Greg behind the stumps, only to turn in a shambolic performance that would have had the great man (and yes – I do mean Greg) shaking his head in disbelief. This clearly set the tone for the rest of the innings as a sub-standard bowling and fielding performance saw the Centurions amass a towering total of 184 for 5 off 20 overs – though in fairness some very good batting from the Centurions may have also had something to do with it. Things had started well with Jim bowling J. Bluett in the first over but it was downhill from there as the Centurions made hay in the sunshine with 2 players retiring on reaching 30 and the others all making significant contributions. COB, fielding on the boundary, can consider himself lucky to still have any teeth in his head after getting his body behind a hard-struck shot, only for the ball to hit a divot just short of him and whistle inches past his head. Jeremy took a sharp catch and Jim picked up 3 wickets – but those were about the only high points for the Canes.

So – could the Canes rise to this massive challenge? Alas no as the Centurions’ bowling and fielding was consistently good and there were few easy runs on offer. The early loss of the team’s talisman (the mighty Jaffa) was a heavy blow, though Griff redeemed himself to some extent by making his way to 30 before retiring – as did Imran after a splendid hard-hitting knock. If we’d had a few more Imrans in the line-up we might have been in with a shout of over-hauling the huge total needed. Sadly though we were never in with a realistic chance and the innings folded with us well short on 142 for 5. The highlight was an all run four when Imran and Jim were batting. It was never more than a sharp single until a hint of an overthrow saw Imran setting off for a second – to Jim’s astonishment. A hurried throw from the fielder saw Imran enter kamikazi mode as, encouraged by the rest of the Canes, he went for a third, and then a fourth, as the ball pinged back and forth between fielders. Jim seemed absolutely bewildered by what was going on – and I must say it was one of the funniest things I’ve seen on a cricket field for a long time. Anyway, well played to the Centurions who thoroughly deserved to win and we wish them good luck in the final.

Man of the Match – only one candidate in my book. For both his batting and bowling, but mainly for that hilarious all run 4, it must be Imran.