This is a brief synopsis of a disappointing evening at Blackweir which all but saw the FTL league title slip out the Cane’s hot sweaty grasp – Mr Stagg having reneged on his promise to compile the report on some flimsy pretext about work having to take priority. I bet it would have been a different story if he’d been reporting on the Canes heroically retaining the title? Unfortunately the events of the evening are already merging into a bit a blur and I don’t have the scorebook to refresh my memory, but here goes:
The Canes were confident of victory having soundly beaten a below-strength Glenwood team earlier in the season – but Mr Dobson seems to have been busy in the transfer market since then and it was a very different line-up that faced us for this crunch show-down, with the winner likely to be crowned champs. The Gladiators have always had number of big hitters in their ranks and so it was no great surprise to see the ball regularly disappearing to the boundary. I can’t recall the details of who did what apart from Sully tempting the one batsman down the track resulting in a smart stumping by Greg – so if someone did something spectacular or heroic then I apologise for not mentioning it. The main thing that sticks in my mind is Lewis being hit back over his head for 2 massive sixes in the same over – though he deserves great credit for foxing the batsman with a slower delivery next ball and bowling him as he tried for a third. Glenwood finished on something like 130 for 6 off 18 overs – a challenging but gettable target?
It looked fairly straightforward as Greg and Jaff got us off to a good start, with some stylish shots from Greg in particular taking us into the thirties with few problems – but that’s when it all started to go wrong. The rot started when Jaffa really launched himself into one shot but fell to an excellent catch on the boundary from one of the Dobsons. I’d thought that the days of spectacular batting collaspes were behind us until the Babb Baas game a couple of weeks ago – but how can I describe what followed? Well – Dave was a disaster, Rees was rubbish, Jim was a joke, Greg came to grief, Sully was s**t, Imran was an idiot, Griff was garbage and Lewis was lousy. Though the tail (COB and myself) did wag briefly with a last-wicket stand that at least saw us creep past the hundred mark, and secure the consolation of a couple of losing bonus points, the result was never in doubt. The Gladiators were understandably jubilant at the end as they now just need a victory against the Echo in their last game to secure the FTL title. Congratulations to them as they were by far the better team on the day and thoroughly deserved to win. All we can do now is to put the Cougars to the sword tomorrow and hope that the Echo boys can do us a favour.
One moment that did stick very firmly in my mind though occurred when I was batting with Lewis. He absolutely wellied one shot and it came off his bat like a shell from a cannon – straight towards me at the non-striker’s end. Now my reactions have never been the quickest but an instinct for self-preservation must have kicked in because I somehow managed to get myself out of the way – even if it may not have been very dignified. They say that your past life flashes before you at moments like this and I can tell you now that it’s absolutely true. As that ball headed towards me like a heat-seeking missile, and I faced the prospect of an imminent meeting with my maker, my past cricketing career seemed to be all laid out before me in glorious technicolour – swashbuckling innings full of stylish strokeplay, inspired spells of hostile pace bowling, and amazing deeds of skill and athletism in the field. However, the truly sad fact is that it all fitted into that one split second? What I’d really like to know though, following his attempt to severely main my wife at Heath Park last year, just what has Mr Bowen got against the Driscolls?
Man of the Match – not many contenders I’m afraid, but I suppose it’s between Greg and COB. I’ll go for Greg though as he batted really well at the start of the innings and is absolved from blame for the fiasco that followed – plus he achived the rare feat of making Sully look like Murali with that stumping.