**** WARNING***** This report does not compare to the litery genius of Danny Driscol or have the wacky ideation of Grifos sci-fi adventures.Hope you like it.I welcome comments.
We attended Blackweir at the tail of Hurricane Rita.We were well prepared for the conditions apart fromLewis Bowen.Isicles coyuld be seen forming from his nose and his lips were blue.We lost the toss and we were first to bat ( even if our captain was unsure)
In to bat first was Jaffa and Nathan.Both were batting well,Jaffa on 5 when a clear ” no ball” was delivered.Jaffa swang at it thinking it would be called by Umpire Danny but it was not.He was then caught resulting in Jaffa ” throwing his toys out of the cot” .I have included the rules from Wisden 2010 for Danny to read,see below.
” Any delivery other than a slow paced one,which passess or would have passed on the full above waist height of the striker standing upright athe crease is deemed to be dangerous and unfair.The umpire shall call and signal ” no-ball” for each such delivery.” Now you know.
Nathan did well and fell for 17.IN comes Dave Stagg.I know theres been a cull of badgers in North Pembrokshire but this bizarre skinned gent was well up for it.However he was out for 5.The misery continues.Griff in next.Was settled on 8 until the authors indecision got him run out for 8.My fault Grifter.I statrted slowly scoring just 6 of 25 balls at which stage Sachin Tendulker ( i mean D.Stagg) started abusing me on the sideline.I saw red scored 25 of the next 14 balls .A helicopter destined for the Londonn riots even stopped for 10 minutes to watch how it is done.Halfway through i heared one of their guys shout ” blimy mate what woke you up”.I retired on 31.Bowen stayed in scoring an aggressive 16 .You could see the isicles melt.ImranJimmy and danny got another 8 runs and we were out for 100 exactly.
Danny bowled first.Complete with creeking kness and a zimmer framme.” Last time i bowled frist W.G Grace was still playing” he was heared shouting.Wickets fell quite early with confidence high.Wickets going by Sully,Nathan and two for Grifter.It seemed to change when a batsman entered who looked like your P.E teacher whom would batter you in a fight.He did well and was scoring runs.Their tail did well with their captain Sutton batting impressivly scoring 22 .Powell bowled well looking like a cross between Ronaldom taking a penalty and an episode of Strickly come dancing.They made it to 101 with 2 overs to go.We lost……………..
Man of the match-Sully.
His prize,copious amounts of Biscuits fed to me by a naked Suzuki.Goodnight.Now its time for my tea.( egg and chips)
Sully
Darth Dobson — August 13, 2011 at 8:31 pm
Sully I think a good first attempt at match reporting but I do think that you should take a correspondence course with the Danny ” call me Enid ” school of journalism. He will soon have you up to speed.
As to the debate on the laws of the game on Jaffa’s dismissal – I was fielding at square leg standing inches from Enid and I would concur that Jaffa was done by the out of the back hand slower ball looper, a speciality of Luke ” skywalker ” Sliver resulting in him spooning the ball into the deep void to be snapped up by one of the Glenwood stormtroopers. Incidentally where is the waist ?- some people wear their hipster whites in an effort to get more no balls but I am afraid Jaffa had his under the arm pits on that night and he could not sway the ever attentive Enid and Jaffa had to be ejected from the field .
Rumour has it that he tried to lay into Dan but Dan clobbered him one and they say that a film is going to be made about the incident- ” the Umpire Strikes Back ” boom boom!
Well another season of rivalry passes into the Galaxy with Glenwood winning the series 2 – 1 and we haven’t done that for a while – Looking forward to renewing battle lines next season in the good spirit we always have – Darth
W.G Grace — August 15, 2011 at 10:23 am
Young Marster Dobson – you’m be a cheeky young whippur snappur you’m be. When be we’m a gonner see sum maatch reports on yourm Glairwood web soite then? Oi carn’t woit to beem cummin arn an maik sum rude remaarks loik.