The Highway Hurricanes
— vs SW Echo

It was a care-worn looking Griff who lead the troops into battle against the Echo with the events of the past week having clearly taken their toll. This follows the unfortunate incident last week involving Jeremy and Clive. Subsequent legal advice had been that, as captain of the team, it was Griff’s responsibility to organise a comprehensive Risk Assessment before the match and that, having failed to do so, he now bears full responsibility if Mr Campbell decides to take matters further. This comes on top of the revelations in the Telegraph that he’s being claiming his subs back from the taxpayer on ‘expenses’. As if things couldn’t get any worse a loose warm-up shot from Phycho Bowen struck a savage blow to the head of Mrs Driscoll – who’d been tempted by the warm weather to attend her first match for ages. So, with two court cases now pending and his reputation in tatters, the skipper faces ruin (anyone got a spare bedroom?). The strain could be seen clearly etched on his noble features and indeed he could be spotted popping a variety of pills and medications throughout the evening – why oh why did no-one have the foresight to see where this would lead?

The Canes batted first and got off to a dodgy start with Dave, Jeremy and Will all clean bowled by Evans – a spin bowler who was ‘allegedly’ turning it like Shane Warne. However, Phycho and Griff steadied the ship and normal service was soon resumed with the boundaries starting to flow. Lewis eventually departed for a typically hard-hitting 37 which brought Clive to the crease for more of the same (just not quite so many – 11). Throughout all this Griff was playing an innings of consumate elegance and beauty, and of the sort that has come to typify the career of this wonderful and uniquely talented cricketer. I’m sorry to get carried away – but you’d get emotional too if you knew what was coming (sniff … stifled sob). Once he reached his half century he selflessly retired to allow his less talented team-mates a turn – and shame on whoever it was that said he was protecting his batting average. Greg (10) and Jim (29 not out) kept the runs coming and the Canes eventually amassed an imposing total of 165 off 20 overs.

A comfortable victory for the Canes then surely? That’s not how it turned out though as the Bunnymen had a number of very proficient batsmen and the runs were soon mounting at a steady rate – though with such a big total on the board the Canes remained confident. Jeremy struck to remove the one opener but then a lengthy partnership ensued which was only broken by an amazing run-out by Will the Wizard – who hit the stumps direct from the boundary at third man. That’ll take some beating for the ‘best run-out’ award – though Jaffa almost topped it by doing the same from the side boundary (though unfortunately the batsman had comfortably made his ground). However, the run rate continued to accellerate and it was only some excellent all round fielding and (it almost goes without saying) astute field placings by that expert tactician Mr Griffiths, that just about kept matters under control – though the bums were certainly starting to squeak after Clive came in for some especially severe punishment (23 runs off his 2 overs) – but Chris and then Jim struck to remove the big hitters (both to catches by Jeremy), order was restored and the Echo fell just short on 145-4. Luckily they hadn’t spotted that a couple of super subs had been slipped on in the form of the O’Brien boys after Dave’s departure, or a legal challenge may have been mounted. However, a most enjoyable evening was to end in tragedy with the shocking news that Griff was dead.

When he failed to show up at the Three Arches after the game a search party was dispatched back to Heath Park – where the grisly truth was discovered. Because there he still stood at his position at mid off, one arm still raised in typically majestic pose as he continued to direct long-departed fielders to various parts of the boundary – but frozen in time … stiff as a board … dead as dodo … an ex captain. With the setting sun casting his shadow over the full length of Heath Park it was a macabre, but somehow magnificent sight, that will linger long in the memories of those who witnessed it.

It was Jim who fronted up to the press afterwards, and of course he was soon asked the obvious question – how could the passing of this self-confessed cricketing colossuss have occurred without any of his team-mates noticing at the time? ‘Well’ he replied ‘to be honest, we all thought it was just Griff playing his normal game’.

Afterwards it was unanimously decided that, as a mark of respect, he would be awarded a posthumous man of the match award. He’ll be missed.

— Danny