The Highway Hurricanes
— vs Sully Spartans

One who looks like he will be back though is COB. It’s an open secret that he’d been planning a new career in the Diplomatic Service – and that he’d been lined up to take over from Tony Blair as the EU’s Peace Envoy. However, it seems that following his outrageous behaviour in the Cavaliers match that job offer has now been withdrawn. Good news for Canes fans of course who can look forward to seeing their favourite in action again next summer – and citizens in various trouble spots around the globe are reported to be dancing in the streets in jubilation and relief. Everyone’s a winner really.

The Spartans batted first and finished on (I think) 140 all out in a 30 over match. I can’t remember too much of note apart from Sully bowling the one opener after bamboozling him with a variety of cunningly flighted deliveries. I think Griff may have taken rather a good catch in the deep – but unfortunately a speck of dirt had blown into my eye at the time and so I’m unable to describe it any detail. Sorry about that. Anyway, knowing the shy and modest sort of chap that he is I wouldn’t want to embarrass him with extravagant praise – though if anyone who wasn’t there wants to know more I dare say, if you buy him a pint and ‘really’ twist his arm, he’ll tell you about it himself.

A decent total then – but no problem for the powerful Canes batting line-up surely, even if once again there’s not a Nathan to be seen? Not a bit of it though as the wickets are soon tumbling. Griff’s cousin Matt, Jeremy and Super Sully are soon gone, and after a brief revival so is Lewis – gone to an excellent catch in the deep. So, it’s a case of position serious but not critical – until the Geriatric German is brought into the attack, instantly striking fear and dread into Hurricane hearts. Now Chris Angle has no doubt heard all about the German but has yet to experience the ordeal of facing him in battle. Griff is at the non-strikers end and his orders are clear – anything that bounces twice before reaching the batsman is to be called a no-ball. I impart this to the German who duly tries his best to pitch up his underarm deliveries. He hasn’t really got the strength though and one or two fail to make it, but I can’t find it in my heart to call ‘no ball’ – to Griff’s disgust. The guy’s 83 after all – I think it’s remakable that he’s still playing – and he just loves having a bowl. He’s too much for Chris anyway, who’s bowled trying to swat at a trundler and duly joins the Normy club.

At this point I manage to get relieved as umpire as I’m dying for a fag. However, before I can reach into my coat pocket the sound of ball and stumps coming into contact means that Griff’s gone too – and I’m in next. Thanks a lot Skip. As we’re still about 70 short of the Spartans’ score we’re in big trouble here and no mistake. Though there’s still COB, who’s been demoted to the bottom of the order in disgrace, to come this is an excellent venue and we want to play here for years to come – so we can’t risk the wild man upsetting our hosts with his antics. So – it’s down to me then. After so many years (some would say decades) of serial under-achievement it’s time to step up to the mark and be counted. I’ve got to stay in and try to give Jim the strike. Fortunately the gods are smiling down on me today – the City have won 3-0, England have won the Ashes, and I manage to stay with Jim as he batters the bowling around the ground in trademark style to see the Canes home to victory. Cue frantic dash to the Seashore Grill for the post match buffet.

Man of the Match – if Griff’s catch is as good as he says it was then he was then he deserves the award for that alone. However, as I missed it (damn that speck of dirt) then of course it has to be Jim.

Danny